More and more recently I have seen various churches pop up around the web with the message of "embrace adoption" - "we are called to adoption" - "the spirit of adoption", etc. etc. Yes, let's all adopt! The Bible talks about it. We should do it. It is a way to provide an alternative to abortion. Sounds good right?
But are we missing something?
I see adoption as an option, yes, but not the option.
Let's delve into the real issues of why a woman would even choose adoption. No one wants or desires to have a baby and then be separated from them. A large part of the equation often comes down to economics and beliefs about what makes a 'good' parent - can I afford this baby? can I give them what they 'need'? can I meet the standards set by society of what I should be?
Should we not as the body of believers be addressing these issues first and foremost before we jump to separating families? We are not the judge or "decider" (thanks, GWB) of what makes a good parent. Babies need love, not toys, name-brand clothes and a top-notch preschool. Let's work together to encourage these women to parent. Let's give them the tools. Let's equip them. Let's show them who they are in Christ. Let's encourage them to be that woman. Support, support, support. I can't say it enough. And no I don't mean government subsidies and hand outs. I mean real come-alongside-you support; and dare I say - love them?
From Galatians 3:28 In Christ, there is no difference between Jew and Greek, slave and free person, male and female. You are all the same in Christ Jesus.
From Philippians 2:
1Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God's Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. 2Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. 3Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. 4Care about them as much as you care about yourselves.
Love - Care - Others above yourself - easier said than done. But attainable nonetheless.
Adoption is painful. It hurts someone. More than one someone usually. You wouldn't want to hurt yourself. So why would we want this pain to come to another?
I have adopted. I know it sounds ridiculous and outlandish for me to say these things. But this is my heart. My heart hurts for my kids. It hurts for their natural moms. It hurts for their other families. I know why they were placed in my family. And these reasons should not exist! It is sad. It is painful. It is also lovely and happy. It formed my family. I have joy in my children. But the reasons I have them are also ugly. I have no easy answer. I wish... I wish... and then I love. I do what I can - I love the socks off my kids because that's what their other moms would want.