Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The internet, our kids, and TMI

This post could also be titled, "Why I Don't Smatter My Kid's Pictures on the Internet (anymore) :-/".

There is a very fine line for sure when we share about our kids in a public setting.  When KJ first came home I was overly excited to post his picture and splattered him all over my blog.  Over the past couple of years I have taken a stricter stance in sharing my kids' images.  I've become very wary of what is shared on my public blog because, let's be honest, there are some seriously creepy people out there.  Not only that, but divulging too much information (TMI) can be dangerous.  

There are blogs I follow where I know the family's last name, their children's (and their) first names, the town they live in (or general vicinity), etc., etc.  Hello?!  Do people not realize this information is something you really don't want to share with the general public.  Especially the creepy creepers who hang out online?  Child trafficking is a real thing, folks.  Don't post a map leading them directly to your children!

Faceb-ok is a bit different (to me, anyway).  You know who exactly is looking (if you set your privacy controls right).  Friends there who don't know me IRL know my last name there (obviously) but I also know theirs.  On my blog someone can look and I'd never know.  I used to use my full name on Twi*ter but recently changed that too.

Let me let you in on another little secret.  If you post an email address for use in contacting you from your Bl*gger profile, when someone hovers over it, they can see your email address without ever contacting you.  If your last name is in your email address, well, now we all know it.

Maybe I am being overly cautious or whacky.  But whatever.  In this case it is definitely better to be safe than sorry.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

More harm than good? Adoption and the church.

More and more recently I have seen various churches pop up around the web with the message of "embrace adoption" - "we are called to adoption" - "the spirit of adoption", etc. etc.  Yes, let's all adopt!  The Bible talks about it.  We should do it.  It is a way to provide an alternative to abortion.  Sounds good right?

But are we missing something?  

I see adoption as an option, yes, but not the option.  

Let's delve into the real issues of why a woman would even choose adoption.  No one wants or desires to have a baby and then be separated from them.   A large part of the equation often comes down to economics and beliefs about what makes a 'good' parent - can I afford this baby? can I give them what they 'need'? can I meet the standards set by society of what I should be?

Should we not as the body of believers be addressing these issues first and foremost before we jump to separating families?  We are not the judge or "decider" (thanks, GWB) of what makes a good parent.  Babies need love, not toys, name-brand clothes and a top-notch preschool.  Let's work together to encourage these women to parent.  Let's give them the tools. Let's equip them.  Let's show them who they are in Christ.  Let's encourage them to be that woman.  Support, support, support.  I can't say it enough.  And no I don't mean government subsidies and hand outs. I mean real come-alongside-you support; and dare I say - love them?

From Galatians 3:
28 In Christ, there is no difference between Jew and Greek, slave and free person, male and female. You are all the same in Christ Jesus.

From Philippians 2:

1Christ encourages you, and his love comforts you. God's Spirit unites you, and you are concerned for others. 2Now make me completely happy! Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person. 3Don't be jealous or proud, but be humble and consider others more important than yourselves. 4Care about them as much as you care about yourselves.

Love  - Care - Others above yourself - easier said than done.  But attainable nonetheless. 

Adoption is painful.  It hurts someone.  More than one someone usually.  You wouldn't want to hurt yourself.  So why would we want this pain to come to another?  

I have adopted.  I know it sounds ridiculous and outlandish for me to say these things.  But this is my heart.  My heart hurts for my kids.  It hurts for their natural moms.  It hurts for their other families.  I know why they were placed in my family.  And these reasons should not exist!  It is sad.  It is painful. It is also lovely and happy.  It formed my family.  I have joy in my children.  But the reasons I have them are also ugly.  I have no easy answer. I wish... I wish... and then I love.  I do what I can - I love the socks off my kids because that's what their other moms would want.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Baby seeks a family.

Got this today from The Shepherd's Crook Ministries. Maybe it's meant for you?

Late next month, a fifteen-year-old birth mother in Florida is set to give birth to a baby boy who has been diagnosed in utero with a mild case of spina bifida. There have been several sonograms done to examine the baby, and the hole in the spinal column looks to be very small and at the very lowest point possible. So far, no fluid has been collecting on his brain, and a second MRI is scheduled to take place soon to make certain of that.

The birth mother is going to be selecting the adoptive family, and she is quite concerned that the family that adopts this boy be a “strong, actively involved” Christian family. Interested families have been asked to submit a family profile, which is to include pictures, a letter to the birth mother, and some basic information about the family. As far as fees are concerned, we have been told by the agency that “there is a $150 application fee, a $2500 Social Service fee up front & our Placement Fee (at time of placement) is a ‘sliding scale’ based on income: 13% not to exceed $12,500.” The agency is also planning to apply for SSI approval for the adoptive family. Family profiles may be submitted, and further information may be requested by writing to

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Sometimes the WWW is good.

We often get "down" on the internet and how it has made things less personal, how it can take time away from "real" people in your life, how there is too much easy access to crap that rots your brain (well, can't argue with that one), etc. etc.

But today something really good happened. It actually transpired over the last few days. The internet drew people together, not apart. We all wanted to do something good for someone. Someone hardly any of us even really "knows" IRL (-In Real Life- See? Internet speak. Fun, huh?). But someone we all had followed on a long, winding, annoying, frustrating, journey to be a mom finally became one. Someone who showed patience and grace in her wait. She showed us all a bit about how much you can long for a child but not demand one. How you can wait, and wait, and wait and still endure without giving up.

So across the internet and across many miles a bunch of us who only know one another through @ signs on had a baby shower for Lisa. So thanks, Lisa, for drawing us together (and thanks to Jayden too!). We learned a lot from you and we hope you enjoy your gifts!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Picture update on private blog.

I finally updated my private blog with some pictures of the kids from the summer. If you don't have an invite and would like one you can email me here.


Monday, September 6, 2010

The dreaded baby registry.

Sweet Lisa over at Waiting Lisa did a post yesterday about going to create her registry as an adoptive mom. I am not sure why it is so hard for a store to have an adoption option on the registries. Hello?! Those of us adoption usually have no idea of a "due date". And even if we do, how heartbreaking if your match falls through and the due date changes? Then you have to explain why it changed. Why not put "we are adopting!" and that's it?? Doesn't seem like it would be so hard to me... Maybe I need to write some letters. Wanna join me?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Adoption Documentaries on PBS.

There are some really great adoption documentaries airing on PBS this month. Click below to find out more! I know that I plan to watch them all. I'll be commenting on each after I've viewed them. I am recording the first one tonight! (I missed it's air date yesterday.) :-/

POV Adoption Stories