And things I do.
I don't know what it is like to pee on a stick and know whether there will be a baby in my future. I do know what it is like to fill out mountains of paperwork, be interviewed, have a stranger dissect your life, reveal secrets, be fingerprinted, have my background checked to make sure I am not a pedophile or child abuser - all in the name of the lack of pee stick decisiveness.
I don't know what it is like to watch a belly grow and feel "your" baby kick. I do know what it is like to pray continually and lovingly for a baby somewhere kicking in someone else's belly. I do know what it is like to have faith the size of a mustard seed and watch it grow to faith the size of a mountain when you meet that woman and that baby and realize they are the ones you have been praying for all along.
I don't know what it is like to give the opportunity to your family to plan a shower with a definite "have to have this shower by such-and-such a date". I do know what it is like to have a family who is so loving and so accepting of your children that they plan a shower on a whim when that baby finally arrives. I do know what it is like to watch them love on your babies with no regard for where they came from or the color of their skin. I do know what it is like to love your family and friends even more because they don't ask any questions, they just love.
I don't know what it is like to have a newborn mushy, gooey and bloody baby placed on your chest the instant they take their first breath and call them yours. I do know what it is like to take a baby who is clean and already loved on from a woman who is giving you the best gift you could ever imagine. I do know what it is like to instantly give your heart, soul and total being to that baby AND that woman all within an instant.
I do know the love of God because I see it every day in my family. I know this love because He loves us the same way. He loves us and knows us before we ever exist. His love for us is instant and spontaneous. It has no regard for color or place or origin. It.just.is. I want to love like that. And my children and their mothers have shown me how. I wouldn't change it for all the pee sticks and gooey babies in the world.
I love my family. It is perfection.