I have never done a post on why we adopt, or what our particular circumstances are. This has been for a few reasons but mainly because we do not have any known IF issues. I know that most who come to adoption; and perhaps to my blog; have experienced this and I don't want it to ever seem that I am somehow rubbing our possible fertility in someone's face.
Many times I will get comments or questions that directly relate to this and most often it is assumed that we adopt due to infertility. Well, no, we don't. But that does not mean that our reasons are more valid or the path that brought someone to adoption is any better or worse.
We have chosen to adopt because we saw a need. Not a need for families wanting that blonde-haired, blue-eyed child that resembles their Grandpa Bob or one of the parents, or has no issues... nope, not them. There generally is a belief that in Domestic Adoption there is not a need as great as that of "real orphans" in other countries or waiting in foster care. Well, those ARE great needs and I in no way belittle that. But there are ALSO great needs here.
Do you know that a mom who is looking to place a child that is black usually has a fraction of the amount of profiles to view than a caucasian mom would? A recent note from a friend at an adoption agency told me that they have an African American mom right now who is going to look at profiles and she has only TWO for her to view. Two? Hello? If that doesn't bother you and make you want to scream than maybe we can't be friends. ;)
When we met with our social worker from our first adoption she point blank told us "If you want to adopt a white child, just get in the line. It goes all the way around the corner and you will be waiting a while." What makes a white child so much more valuable and desirable than a black one? What makes a "healthy" child more desirable than one born drug addicted or with a cleft palate?
We believe strongly that the Lord has asked us to stand in the gap for these children. Those by society deemed to be "less desirable." I don't think it matters if I popped out ten babies of my own, I would still meet this need. I would still do this. I would still offer these women a choice. Because we all expect them to not abort and carry their children, but then offer them no alternatives at the end. And the first and best alternative is always for them to have the resoureces to parent. But if they choose not to, then we will be there.
The jury is still out on whether I will ever actually birth a child. I just have never had that strong of a desire to do so. I know this is odd, but I just don't care that much. I think I might like the experience but I never dreamed of it nor did my husband. We never talked about how great it would be to have off-spring who resembled us... it just didn't matter. And right now my focus is on my son. And he is black. So me having a white baby is probably not going to help him in his adjustment as the black child of white parents. Therefore I put my needs and desires aside for him. Because his needs are much more important than any of mine.
Now you know a little bit more about me and hopefully I have not scared too many of you away. Sorry, I just don't have one of those warm fuzzy adoption blogs... ;)