Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Adoption Updates

I'm sure many of you are wondering just what has been going on with us regarding this second adoption.  I often post about how things are going on, but have been tentative to give details for many reasons.  For the two women that we spoke with last November and December I, of course, wanted to guard their privacy.  There was no reason to go waving their business around the internet and it really annoys me when people do.  I don't need to know every detail of your phone calls, texts, her problems, and yours.  And if you do that please, please make your blog private!  Theirs is not your story to tell.  End of rant.

Anyway, yes, we were tentatively "matched" with two different mothers back in Nov/Dec and both chose to parent.  It was fine.  Really. And I feel that we played an important role in their decision making at that time.  I still get emails now and then from both and it has been a blessing to be available.  Sometimes in adoption you're not there just to adopt a child, but to play a larger role.  Perhaps someone just needs a friend or a listening ear.  You just never know.

It has been tiring and emotionally draining.  I mean I work all day long in a social services agency.  With all that this adoption journey entails it's a bit like bringing work home with me.  But not in a bad way.  I never want to make this sound like it has been a negative experience because it has not. 

Both of the situations I just mentioned came through our attorney.  I also have been reaching out in other ways and we have submitted our home study for a waiting child in another state.  That can take months to even hear anything so we just wait, not expecting much.  I do speak with the worker about once a week just to remind her that we are here!  I'm sure I am a pain in the butt, but whatever.  I have made it clear that if another family is better for this little one than that is fine.  But it has not come to that point yet and she plans to present our home study to the child's "team" of workers as a very interested family.  So we shall see....

I also, through a friend of a friend, have registered as a family interested/available to adopt a child with Down syndrome.  Within a week we got a call asking if we would be available for a child being born within the next few months who is African American and will be a child with DS.  There are some other things going on there with a family who originally matched with the mom but then backed out and then came back.  We are waiting to hear what may or may not happen with this situation as well.

As you can see there are many things happening.  And I.am.tired.  But good, and BLESSED.  I cannot say enough how good God has been to us.  How we feel so blessed to just have our lives available to these families and children.  We know He knows the next steps for our family.  So now we just wait.  (The hard part.)


HMK said...

Oh Andi; the waiting is hard, no matter what, it is hard. But you are doing the right things and making yourselves available to be used in a way God sees fit. You can't go wrong. Hang in there!

Leah said...

I always love your thoughts on different issues. And I agree. . . blogs are about sharing OUR story. We shouldn't share anyone else's. (Unless of course they are completely fine with it) I know I have no intention on sharing our son's story with people.

Waiting is so hard. Thinking of you during this period of waiting.

birthmothertalks said...

I hope you can find the patience you need as you wait. Waiting sucks! :( I remember when my husband and I didn't agree on having more than one child. I remember so badly wanting to have another one. But in his own time, he decided that he was ready to have another one. I know it's not quite the same, but in a small way it is.

Melba said...

So is waiting the second time around as hard as waiting the first time was? I've often wondered if it will be when our "next time" comes along.

Glad to hear things are progressing...but I know what you mean about being so darn tired! Hopefully there will be good news soon.

I love your comment about adoption sometimes being about more than adopting a baby, great thoughts!


Andi said...

@birthmomtalks It is a little bit like that I imagine.

@Melba I will do a post on waiting the second time. Definitely much different from the first, for us at least.

Debbie B said...

I agree with your rant completely. Isabel has quite the story and I try my best to leave out the details that belong to her and her birth family. Some people know but just those close to us.

It's the squeaky wheel that gets attention. Keep checking in with them.

You have a wonderful attitude about the wait. Praying for endurance with all that is going on and that your child will be found at the right time.