Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Happy New Year!

I began the New Year with the vain hope that I would be a better blogger.  Well, as you can see that has not really happened.  It is nearly the middle of the month and here I am with my first post.  Don't hate me.

Our Christmas was wonderful but very busy.  We traveled out to Ohio and then back to Philly before getting home to NY.  It was great to see family but I think we were more tired when we got back!  Here is our family Christmas picture that we sent out this year -->

I think it came out great and KJ was smiling so big! 

We are still plugging away on our next adoption.  We have been matched twice in two months and both times mom has chosen to parent.  We are not sad in the least and I am happy to have a ministry of this sort where I can honestly tell a mom that it is OK to change her mind and really mean it!  I keep telling my friends that we will never have another little one because I tell these women it is OK to choose a different route... and then they do!  LOL 

God is so good.  And I am so happy to be able to talk with these mom's considering adoption and give them an honest assessment of their options.  They DON'T have to choose adoption.  There may be a way for them to parent.  They need to know this.  Too often I think the industry that is agency/private adoption pushes these women too soon in to making a decision and then they are left feeling that there is no way back.  As crazy as it is, I am happy to have gone with an attorney this time because WE are the ones speaking to the women, WE know what is really being said, WE don't have to have a mediator or someone between she and us.  I know what is really going on with them.  It is a good feeling.  Although it is challenging and hard, it is well worth it. 

I would not recommend this route to a first-time adoptive family because I just don't think you know enough the first time around.  You really have to work hard to educate yourself.  Have you ever even spoken to a woman/family before who have relinquished a child?  Have you taken the time to speak with other families who have adopted before?  Have you spoken with a family who had a failed placement? 

These are all just thoughts I have had recently and I am sure there will be more!  What an adventure 2010 has been already.  I can't wait to see what the rest of the year has in store!



Leah said...

Beautiful family photo. :-D

And I think it's wonderful that you're being such a huge advocate to the birth moms out there. And I like the lawyer route. . . sometimes the agencies just interfere too much.

birthmothertalks said...

That was a really cute Christmas picture of you guys.

I too think it's wonderful that you are being so open and honest with these women who are considering adoption. It takes a lot of self control to think of poor me.. I want another little baby, but to let them know that it's okay if she chooses to parent. I don't believe everyone can do that. I really don't like the idea of private adoptions, but for my own reasons. I think it's great that you admit that it's not for the beginner. I hope your family some day is blessed with another son or daughter to be give your son another person to love.

HMK said...

Andi, you're the best! Keep on keepin' on. :) You are so right that the first time around we are a little bit clueless... hopefully we wisen up after that. I think that one post a month would be a good goal! ;)

Jenny said...

Hi. Just going through some old comments and thought I'd stop by to say howdy. Hope to see you again. :D

Kyle and Crystal said...

I don't think I could FULLY understand these things before I experienced adoption. Before we adopted (despite tons of research) I couldn't possibly understand the extent of the love women have for their babies they choose to place with another family. There are families who have adopted a couple times and STILL don't get it (in my opinion).

When we had our third visit with Kinsey's first mom last march I cried for HER loss. What she missed out on by not seeing every minute of Kinsey's beautiful life.

I think many people honestly think these women do not love their babies and don't want them. You are right - private adoption is definitely NOT for the beginner... or anyone else who doesn't feel the same you do where they could honestly say "Its okay to change your mind".

I love our chats :) I love hearing your heart :) I am glad you finally updated your blog LOL
ps. why did i write so much???

Dave & Amy Gerhart said...

What great photos! He's absolutely beaming!