I'm pretty sure that many would classify me as an adoption downer. I mean, come on now, I often talk about how hard adoption is, how badly I feel for my children's birth families, how I wish there were no need for adoption, how adoption really should be a last resort, etc. etc.
And the truth is? All of those things I say ARE true. But none of them negate the joy I feel for my children or the love I have for their first mothers. Or how much I love that adoption brought them into my life. How strongly I feel connected to them even tho we share no blood connection. How I don't care that our skin does not match. How I adore each moment with them even when it's 3:30am and ND is screaming. Or bedtime and KJ is telling me "No! Oh crap, mama!" for the twentieth time that evening. None of the 'hard' things about adoption matter when I see them. But it does make me appreciate them oh-so-much more. I truly do not think any mother could appreciate or love her child more.
For me the way in which they came to me just makes me love them that much more - not less! The hard parts make it better - not worse! The fact that they have another woman's eyes, hair or cheek bones doesn't make me sad - it makes me happy. It makes me realize what a gift I have and how I am loving them for both of us through our day-to-day lives.
So yah, sometimes I am a downer. But it is for all the right reasons. I never want to take these perfect and priceless gifts for granted. Never.