Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Things I Don't Like in Adoption: Part One

#1: ADVERTISING: Specifically advertising for "birth mothers".  It grosses me out and gives me the heeby-jeebies.  It seems predatory to me and honestly, if you are thinking about adoption I don't think you need to be stalked.  Having information in a phone book is one thing.  But to run commercials and place ads on the internet (specifically within adoption forums) is something totally different to me. 

I specifically dislike ones that begin with "Looking for a Newborn Baby?"  WHAT?!  Let us just find the right one to fit YOUR family.  Not anything about what the child needs but what will fit YOUR family.  Blech.  I know, I know - I am an adoptive mom.  I adopted *gasp* a newborn baby.  I don't know.  Maybe I am a complete imbecile and live in fantasy land.  I just don't think that adoption should be run like the stock market.  It should not be an "industry".

There are needs out there.  There are kids who need homes.  There are pregnant women who need options.  But it should be about the moms first.  What if they can or should parent?  What if you never are placed with a child because they are all staying with their bio families?  We need to be just as ready to rejoice in that as we are ready to rejoice with a placement.  Are you ready for that?  Do you get *excited* when your agency has a lot of placements?  Take a minute to think about what that means.  It means more families are being broken up.  More women are parting with children they've nourished and loved for nine months.

Adoption is NOT about families who need or want babies.  At least it shouldn't be. . . . think about it today.


1 comment:

Debbie B said...

I completely agree. But you've still given me something to think about.
When we brought Isabel home on the legal risk of the birthdad not having signed yet I asked my husband if he was okay with that even if the birthdad decided he wanted to parent. My husband said of course and that we'd just box all of her stuff up to go with her if that happens. I learned something new about my husband that day.

And here's something to think about. A few years ago in Guatemala adoption was the second highest source of income for the entire country. You can't tell me there is not corruption when the country makes that much money from it.