I've been thinking a lot lately about adoption and how it plays into the life of a family. (And a post here sparked my thoughts again today.) At what point does it become a real option for someone? Why do some families adopt and some do not? Why will some spend thousands and thousands of dollars on infertility treatments and some never even bother? It's all very intriguing to me because it says a lot about family formation and, to an extent, values.
What it boils down to in my mind is basically it is a God-thing. Because we live in a broken and fallen world we humans have had to come up with some sort of way to make things work. In a perfect world my son would not even be my son. He would be with his first mama. She would have not had to make this choice. Don't get me wrong, I do believe whole heartedly that the Lord knew this boy would be my son. But I also know that he knows our hearts, hands, and actions and he knew before KJ ever entered his mama's womb that she would not be able to keep him. That she would make the choice to hand her child to me. And that my family would grow in this way and hers would diminish at that same moment. I take none of this for granted.
I know that God opens and closes wombs for different reasons. And for some I think that reason is to get them to consider adopting when otherwise they might not have. Not because any of us have a right or deserve to raise someone else's child, but because God knew it needed to happen. Just because I wanted to be an adoptive mother does not mean that I deserved it. In God's grace and mercy he provided me with my heart's desire. But if he said no, I had to be OK with that too. My husband and I do not have any known fertility problems. We've never even "tried" to have biological children. God led us to adoption right away. But for some it happens differently and that is OK too.
A friend just discovered that she is unexpectedly pregnant. For years they tried and did not conceive and they have a beautiful child brought to them through adoption. Now they will have a biological one too! So maybe for a time the gift of conception was not offered to them because that child needed them. If they had gotten pregnant back then they would not have the child they have now. A God-thing? I think so...
You can think whatever you like. Maybe you are not a believer. But regardless there does seem to be an order to things and I attribute that to the Lord. Either way you must admit things do seem to happen for a reason... maybe they are not even reasons that you like or agree with. But everything around us does happen regardless of whether we participate or sit back and watch. I chose to be a participant. And thankfully so did my husband.
So long story short? Don't take anything in life for granted. It all falls in place for a purpose. How you got there doesn't matter as much as why you are there.