Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A crisis in decision-making.

 I should have subtitled this post: One More Thing for Parents to Worry About, Especially if you are a Trans-racial Family. :)

Every now and then the question of where we live and should we move comes up again in my mind. I know my husband is reading this and saying to himself, "Oh Lord.  Here she goes again."  You see, growing up my husband and I (separately, obviously) moved around a lot.  He moved more than me actually.  But by the time I was in middle school I think I had lived in ten different places.  Luckily I was able to enter middle school and complete high school all in the same town.  Before that we had moved every two to three years.  Bleh!  Who wants to do that?  Not me.  Not anymore. I love NY and I want to raise my children here.  I was blessed in that although we did move a lot we always were in the NYC-metro area.  I've not lived outside of this area since I was five (well, I did go to college outside Boston and lived there for a bit).  There is so much diversity here.  It is beautiful and we have all that New York City has to offer.  Who could ask for more?  (Well, Kevin could.  He'd be happy if we lived in the middle of nowhere.  I would die.)

I made all this very clear to Kevin even before we were married.  I love NY.  We are not leaving.  I am staying put.  We did move around a bit after our marriage, but always within an hour of NYC.  Now we own a house.  We are right on the train line to NYC.  On the border of a state park.  Close to major highways.  Our town is beautiful.  Not over populated.  No chance for extreme growth (read: no more houses unless you own at least 2 acres.) We have a farmer's market in the summer and fall.  And the schools are excellent.  But in a town that has little to no diversity.  Again, bleh! 

Don't get me wrong.  We love our town.  Our neighbors are great.  Everyone is very friendly and accepting.  We get no odd or dirty looks at our blended family.  Folks are just plain nice.  But I worry about KJ and his siblings.  Will they be the only children of color in their class?  Will they want other kids around them that look like them? 

We attend a very diverse church about 20 minutes away and spend a lot of our time there during the week too.  None of our "life" is within our town.  All of our friends live outside of our town.  So it's not like KJ is not spending time with people who look like him.  It's just not in our community of residence.  Eh!  I am sure I am thinking too much...  excellent schools vs. diversity vs. moving vs. not so great schools.

Where I work is close to where we live and is the community where our church is.  Lots and lots of diversity.  We actually thought of moving here when we bought our house.  But the schools are less than stellar, there is violence (not extreme), lack of community investment and involvement, and even increasing gang activity.  Nice, right?  I would still like to move there and invest in this community.  BUT - what about my kids?  Is it worth it for them?  I don't want them to grow up sheltered in some posh mostly white community.  But I don't want their education to suffer either.  (I know some of you are thinking "homeschool" well, I think we've been down that road before.  And for me it is a "heck, no.") ;) 

So anyway, for me it is just one more thing to wrestle with.  I know God will make the answer clear.  But for now I just like giving myself one more thing to ponder...


1 comment:

Debbie B said...

We've had the same conversations lately. I actually read your post and wonder about the fact that we do want to home school. I know I'm crazy.
But I've started to wonder if that's what will be right for our children. Sure we'll try and always be in a diverse church and community but I wonder if those friends they make at school and see more regularly will make an impact for our children.