Firstly, adoption is not a Lifetime movie. No birth-mother is going to stalk your family a la "boiling a rabbit" in your kitchen. The most disappointing thing to me that I have learned while on this journey is the bad rap that birth-moms get! It is almost disgusting. As soon as you say you are adopting, or your child is adopted, folks automatically assume that the natural mother was strung out on crack or a 12-year rape victim. This is VERY rarely the case. Most of these women are responsible people making a life-altering decision. They need our support, not our assumptions.
Let me clarify that so far I am talking about DIA (Domestic Infant Adoption) now obviously if you are adopting internationally or from the foster care system things are very different. But since we did not do those types of adoptions I can only speak to DIA. (End disclaimer) :)