Monday, May 4, 2009

True Confessions.

 Lately on a message forum that I frequent there was a discussion about electronic toys and the benefits/harm of them.  It got me to thinking about all the things I do in my day-to-day parenting that would probably be considered by some to be just awful.  In the spirit of honesty I am laying it all out there.  Feel free to join in and hash out your own feelings of guilt and parenting shame!  (Just kidding.  I am actually not at all ashamed or guilt-ridden about my parenting style.)  I think it is funny though how quick we are to point a finger so I figured me putting some stuff out there might make you all laugh (or call DSS on me) and feel a bit better.  Enjoy!

1.  I never rocked or held my son until he slept.  We thought, and still think, from the very beginning that this would only lead him to rely on us to get to sleep.  I know some folks do this and just love it.  For us?  No way.  Sleepy time is sleepy time and cuddling can be reserved for other times.  NOTE: KJ has slept through the night since 2 months old.  So it can't be that detrimental.  He sleeps now from 7:30pm - 8:00am without waking.

2.  I give him sweet things and *gasp* juice!  Yes, my son is only 1 and has tasted the sweet things of life like chocolate, juice and even a lollipop.  Oh, and he's had french fries too!  (Ready to call DSS yet?)

3.  I will not homeschool.  Nope.  No way.  No how.  If you are cut out for this and it is how you want/can do things in your family, well then more power to ya.  I have no interest in it nor do I think it is necessary to raise healthy, grounded Christian children.  It is not something I am convicted about.   (NOTE:  I have no problem with homeschooling.  Just the opposite.  I think it is great for one main reason... more time with your kids.  The rest?  Eh, you don't need to be the sole influence on your kids to raise them right.)

4.  KJ has many noisy toys.  Yes, and some of them even operate on batteries!  His favorite things right now are a wooden spoon and an empty box, but the other toys are still there and I don't plan to throw them out.

5.  I work outside of my home.  Whoa!  Bad Andi.  Big fat sinner bad mommy Andi.  Ready to call the Pope or Grand Pooba of your church?  Go for it.  I have a job and I actually LOVE it.  Do I love being with my son?  Of course I do.  More than anything in the world.  But I also love to work.  I love to make a difference both inside and outside of my domicile.  A crazy, reckless mama am I!

6.  I am admittedly too quick to pick up my son when he is upset.  My husband chastises me all the time.  If he is crying or fussing I give in to him way too easy.  I am a sucker for my cute kid.

7.  I have said many a swear word in front of my infant son.  I am fearful that the first real word out of his mouth will be something unspeakable.  I am working on this.  No, I do not swear regularly but sometimes you are really upset and screaming "Oh shoot" or "darnit" just doesn't cut it.

8.  Most assuredly my son will be addicted to name brand shoes.  He is 1 and has already owned at least 25 pairs of shoes.  I just bought him the freaking cutest pair of K-Swiss sneakers online last week.

9.  I have no idea when I will be able to get KJ to stop drinking from his bottle.  He still gets four a day.  Yes, he is totally on milk only now but we still let him have the bottle.  My friend Laura had her son off of the bottle completely at 13 months.  God bless her.  I don't know how she did it.

10.  I love my son more than anything in this world.  He will have serious mommy issues when he is older because of this.  I dote on him too much, I let him have his way too much, and I love on him too much.  I plan to embarrass him as much as possible as a teenager.




Kyle and Crystal said...

LOL you had me laughing :) I was ready for some terrible parenting when you started (i kid, i kid). I think we all have our little things that judgemental people would look down on us for haha. Your dirty word comment made me smile. I whispered "crap" the other day when I made a mess and Kinsey repeated it instantly in her own whisper.... I snickered and looked around to make sure daddy didn't hear her. Now I REALLY have to watch myself :) Oh yeah! And since when is giving your little one sweets bad?? Haha Oh brother, my little booboo loves her some sweets. I can't eat anything in front of her anymore.

Take Care :)

PS. I am glad you're making a difference in and out of your home :)

kbell said...

oh Andi, you terrible terrible.. ack! I can't even finish it without laughing.

I love that people can have a difference of opinions. How boring would this word be if all had the exact same parenting style??

I bet Nathan & KJ could really swap stories... here, I still rock Nathan to sleep if he needs. But being fussy during the day? He gets "get a grip child". lol

Nathan off the bottle by his 1st birthday, but only because he didn't fight me. haha

Becca said...

Oh Andi!
This is great! I loved reading it...
People always assume that Dave and I are the super vigilant about healthy eating as Dietitians, but we are SO lax when it comes to food.. Jonah eats ice cream, french fries, hot dogs etc.. Just in moderation.
EVERYTHING in moderation is fine- that is what we believe!

I sometimes feel like a "bad" parent because Jo is still sleeping in our room (in a big boy bed on our floor!) and still using a paci at night. But I just feel like you have to prioritize and having a happy child and rich life far outweigh silly little things like how long your child uses a paci or if they are using electronic toys.
Thanks for posting this! You rock!

Paragraphein said...

See I think your list made me feel worse, because I kept reading this and thinking "That's it?" LOL.

My list includes things like:

Yes, she's allowed to watch television (and does) EVERY day. And no I do not always watch with her.

Swearing? Yes. To be honest I don't feel guilty about this one at all. On principle I have issues with society dictating which arrangements of letters are taboo and which are not. I am actually trying to UNteach the lessons of society, while still letting her know that in certain situations you DON'T say certain words b/c they could offend other people.

Oh and she gets something sugary almost every day.

Oh and we love McD's nuggets in this house, it's like the only meat she'll eat so yup, she gets 'em.

Oh and if she doesn't like what we're having, yes, I'll make her a peanut butter or tuna sandwich or oatmeal for her dinner.

Oh and she goes to bed way too late, like 11:00.

And I too work outside the home but also don't feel the slightest guilty for that one.

Oh and I'm also a "permissive" parent and tend to figure most things she'll grow out of, and so far, that's proven true. I see no reason to fight tooth and nail to correct childish behavior issues when I know darn well she'll eventually get over 'em.

There. See, your list is nothin'. LOL.

We also give lots of hugs and kisses and talk about her day at school every day and cuddle and have water fights and garden together and work hard to let her know she can tell us anything.

Karen NJ said...

I'm guilty of most, if not all of your list - except Annabel's Fred Flintstone feet make it difficult for me to have a shoe obsession. And my kid is still drinking formula from a bottle and had pizza crust for dinner. And some chocolate cake. But she had a banana and oatmeal for breakfast, so I think that evens it out.

And she wakes up screaming every night and we bring her into bed with the other kid who's already sleeping in our bed. When that happens, I have to reverse my head and feet so we all fit on the bed.

EagerMOM said...

Gwen slept in her swing till she was 8 or 9 months old. Calli is in her's at this very moment. My girls have sweet things often, not daily because Steve and I don't like to share. Juice and McNuggets are a major food group here. It doesn't matter what toys your kids have, they are gonna play with the strings, papers, spoons, boxes, and your underwear if you let them. I wish I worked outside the home. I would not feel bad. I seem to spoil Gwen a little extra. Gwen repeats all my choice words. "Shut-up mommy!" "Gimme Freakin book Bella" and my favorite "Shoot!" The transition for a bottle is always hard. Just like losing the binky. We cut the binky and gave it back to Gwen and she said bye bye binky I love you, and into the trash she threw it. A few more episodes of that and she was done. Fun sippys is where we are at with Gwen. I dote on my girls like crazy. They are my babies, so much fun. I must be doing something right. A few times we leave restaurants and people thanked us for having such well behaved children. LOL they deduce that from an hour in a restaurant. My mother In-law always tell us that she knows how to take care of kids "Your still alive, right?". With the mistakes our parents made we are still here. SOme of them smoked, drank, left us unrestrained in the car, didn't push us to go to school, but we are alive. I think you are a wonderful mom. Just look at that boy!