Do you ever get this? I do from time to time. I feel crappy that I have the gift of my son and that S does not have him anymore. Woe is me, right? Go ahead, you can tell me to just get over it. But seriously, should I? I don't think so. I think the thoughts of her give me such a deep appreciation for her and *our* son that I never want to stop feeling these feelings.
I get sick to my stomach when I read/hear folks saying stuff like "Oh, you've given this baby a better life" or "At least he will have the chance for this or that" or "Now at least he'll have a mommy and a daddy." WTHeck people? S would have made an excellent mother. She loved/loves him will all her heart! The decision she made - she made of her own volition. But that does not mean she would've been a bad mother. She did not have the support she needed, nor the means. But that doesn't make me a better mommy than she would've been. It just makes me different.