- To Commit your heart or not? There is much debate in the adoption world about when you throw your heart into the mix. . .upon first sight of that referral picture? Or not until the court date? Homecoming Date? Share your thoughts and experience!
As for committing your heart? There is still a period of uncertainty in domestic adoption. From KJ's birth to when mom signed TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) there was still a waiting period of seven days. During that time S could have changed her mind at any time. Lucky for us KJ was in interim care during this time. I know that some parents have taken the baby in only to have to return him or her. We would have taken a "legal risk placement" but were relieved that we didn't have to. The one week of waiting was hard enough without even having ever seen a picture of him!
I don't think there is any such thing as "guarding your heart." We were committed to our son from the moment we got that phone call. He was ours in our hearts. If S had changed her mind we would have hurt, for sure. But not taking him into our hearts and family from that moment would have robbed us of the joy of planning for him regardless of what the outcome was. We firmly believed that the Lord meant for him to be in our hearts and prayers even if was only for that one week. I encourage you if you are waiting or have a referral do not put that child out of your mind for fear of pain. The Lord will see you through even if your adoption does not go through with this child. He has put that child in your life for this time for a purpose. Perhaps it is just to shower him or her with prayers for a brief time. Perhaps it is to make them a permanent part of your family. Do not second guess the sovreignty of God by hiding your heart. He will protect you and your emotions. Don't miss out on one second of love!
We did not end up parenting the first child we were matched with. But I prayed over him or her for a month. I still do pray for that child. I would not have wanted to miss that opportunity and the pain it caused us was worth it for the opportunity to cover that child and mom in prayer for that brief time.