Friday, September 26, 2008

My blog list is growing!

I keep finding more and more blogs to "follow" and I LOVE IT! Most of my list are fellow transracial families. I love that. It makes me not feel so... well... different. God is so good! The internet isn't all bad.

Speaking of transracial adoption. I went back and looked over my old entries from our old blog. I found this gem from last August (2007):

"... I've been reading up a lot on trans-racial/interracial whatever you want to call it adopting. There is a fairly good chance that our child will not "look" like us and the world will wonder why. (Although I don't think it takes a genius to figure it out some people can just be ignorant and rude.) This makes me nervous, of course. I know that the Lord will give us the grace and strength to deal with it when the time comes. In more than one study researchers found that children who are adopted by parents of a different race actually adapt better than those who are adopted by parents of the same race. They found that these kids have no question that they were adopted (since they don't look like their parents) and therefore tend to deal with it earlier in life and basically get it over with. Well, who knows how accurate this actually is but I guess it offers some hope..."

So, now that we know for sure that our son does not "look like us" how have my fears played out? In many interesting and mostly entertaining ways actually. For instance, at two months old I took KJ to get his pictures professionally done. Next to us there was a mom and two young girls (probably about 8 and 5) who were Caucasian next to us waiting. As only a child can do the older girl looks at her mom and says, "That little boy is brown and his mommy is white. I don't understand how that can happen." (Gotta give her points for curiosity and bluntness.) To which her mom adeptly responded, "Well dear, let's talk about how that can happen. Maybe his daddy is brown or maybe he is adopted." Kuddos to mom for a good response and not shushing her daughter. It's nothing to be embarrassed about! I didn't say anything and acted like I didn't hear. But I thought it was a nice way for the mom to respond.

Yes, some folks have gawked or just given a curious glance. But the overwhelming response to our blended family has been positive. Many, many people want to come ooh and ahh over KJ (he is pretty darn cute!) and we don't mind. An online friend of mine once said that she believes that God has called some of us to transracial adoption as a way to be a witness for Him and break down some color barriers. May we only be worthy of being Christ's example...

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Red Letters Campaign... Blog Buzz question of the week.

I have begun blogging for the Red Letters Campaign. Each week they have a "Blog Buzz" question that they ask you to answer to help others who may be considering adoption.  This weeks question is:

  • To Commit your heart or not?  There is much debate in the adoption world about when you throw your heart into the mix. . .upon first sight of that referral picture?  Or not until the court date?  Homecoming Date?  Share your thoughts and experience!
Our story is a bit different since we adopted domestically.  There was no "referral" - no pictures beforehand.  One day we were a family of two, the next (literally) we were a family of three.  We received a call on Thursday morning and KJ had been born the day before.  We had to travel out of state to meet him and stay in that state for about a week before we could return home.  He became our son the moment we got that first "call".  What is referred to in the domestic adoption world as "THE call".  So simple in words, but so complex in emotions.  We waited only a brief time (three months from approval) to be matched with our son.  Before that we had been matched with a potential expectant-mom and were out of the "waiting pool" for a monthSo if you take that month out we really only waited eight weeks.  

As for committing your heart? There is still a period of uncertainty in domestic adoption.  From KJ's birth to when mom signed TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) there was still a waiting period of seven days.  During that time S could have changed her mind at any time.  Lucky for us KJ was in interim care during this time. I know that some parents have taken the baby in only to have to return him or her.  We would have taken a "legal risk placement" but were relieved that we didn't have to. The one week of waiting was hard enough without even having ever seen a picture of him!

I don't think there is any such thing as "guarding your heart."  We were committed to our son from the moment we got that phone call.  He was ours in our hearts.  If S had changed her mind we would have hurt, for sure.  But not taking him into our hearts and family from that moment would have robbed us of the joy of planning for him regardless of what the outcome was.  We firmly believed that the Lord meant for him to be in our hearts and prayers even if was only for that one week.  I encourage you if you are waiting or have a referral do not put that child out of your mind for fear of pain.  The Lord will see you through even if your adoption does not go through with this child.  He has put that child in your life for this time for a purpose.  Perhaps it is just to shower him or her with prayers for a brief time. Perhaps it is to make them a permanent part of your family.  Do not second guess the sovreignty of God by hiding your heart.  He will protect you and your emotions.  Don't miss out on one second of love!

We did not end up parenting the first child we were matched with.  But I prayed over him or her for a month.  I still do pray for that child.  I would not have
wanted to miss that opportunity and the pain it caused us was worth it for the opportunity to cover that child and mom in prayer for that brief time.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Do you like my new hat?
Yes, my mother gets great joy out of torturing me...
Items of clothing that KJ has outgrown this month...
KJ and our dog Finnegan. They are the best of buds!
Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Five months old!

Today KJ turned 5 mos. old.  I cannot believe how fast these five months have gone.  People think I'm crazy but I really can't wait to adopt the next member of our family. If only our house were a bit bigger!


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Much better, thanks!

KJ is feeling and doing much better. We are still on the soy formula and he may just stay on it. He actually has a lot less spit up than he did on the milk-based. Not sure if it's related, but less spit up is good any ole time!

Daddy has been away all week on business so mommy has been doing single parent duty. Ugh. This is not for the faint of heart! I have so much respect now for parents who do it all on their own for whatever reason. KJ is a good, good baby. But he is still work. Last night we tested out "sitting up on our own". Here's the play by play...

YAY! I've got it!
Uh oh! I'm tipping over!
And... I'm done.
It was a valiant effort and he stayed up for a good 5-10 seconds. Don't mind all the drool on his front. I am pulling single parent duty after all!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Old blog - New blog

So I was blogging about our adoption journey here but have admittedly let it fall by the wayside. I have started using blogger because I can link to other people's blogs more easily. This is sad because I actually like WordPress better, but hardly anyone uses it. (At least not the people I know!) So I wanted to import the old blog here - but of course I can't do that either!

So if you want to know what got us here - to our son - to Mr. KJ. Read the former blog. I will probably put a link to it on the sidebar at some point too.

Update on the sick boy(AKA K.J. "King of the Castle"):

Kevin brought KJ back to the doctor this morning. He was supposed to have a vaccine (we do not give them on the absurd - stick your kid with ten needles and fill him with numerous dead diseases at once - CDC schedule) this morning but instead ended up having a "sick visit" with the pedi. We love her, btw. She is so nice and helpful and doesn't treat us like idiots. She says he indeed has some sort of tummy virus and will get over it in time. He is now on soy formula because the enzymes he needs to break down the milk proteins are being "flushed out" due to his illness (I won't go into detail here...). So his poor little tummy was getting more upset by the milk-based formula he was on. So as to not have a repeat of the other night I went to BRU today and stocked up on some soy formula!

KJ is just his normal happy self still - sleeping a bit more - but other than that just a chipper fellow.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

First tustle with sickness...

Poor KJ isn't feeling so hot. He has some sort of stomach bug that is giving him unsightly diarreah. I called the pediatrician this afternoon and she told us to stop his regular formula and give him only Pedialyte. What a night thus far. Thank GOD in heaven that my baby is so calm most of the time. LOL It isn't really him that has been the problem - it's the darn Pedialyte, etc.! First I don't leave work until almost 7. Run to Target to get the Pedialyte and more bananas. Then home. I get KJ ready for bed about to pee myself the whole time because I haven't even taken the time to go to the bathroom. He is fussy because he is so tired from basically pooping the life out of himself all day (sorry if TMI). So then we try the Pedialyte. HE HATES IT! LOL He then gets more fussy because this is not what he is used to! So I have to call the on-call nurse from my pediatricians office. She first suggests just giving him his regular formula. Better that than being dehydrated. So then she asks does he have mucus or blood in his stool (sorry TMI again) - yes he did! Uh oh! Well then DON'T give him the regular formula - milk protein problems or something. WHAT?!?! I have no soy formula. We live in the middle of no-CVS and you're-lucky-if-you-don't-hit-a-deer-today-ville. So off I go to CVS in Suffern about 15 mins away. WalMart is a little closer but I have $5 extra bucks at CVS so off I went. Home again. KJ is asleep. He basically passed out without eating because he was so tired. :( So now we are on soy and let's hope he'll eat it! BAH! Pray for my poor boy!

Monday, September 8, 2008

More from Cleveland

Here are some more pictures from our Cleveland adventures. We went to a Brown's game! I have decided that Kingsley is going to be a Browns fan. Why? Because I have no allegiance to any other team (like I do the Yankees) and the Brown's are just as good a team as any. And maybe we'll get free tickets again... ;-)

Posted by Picasa

Friday, September 5, 2008

Sorry folks...

I have a lot of pics to put up from the rest of our time in Cleveland but with all the family/friends coming in this weekend for the dedication I just have not had time! I promise I'll get to it next week.

For now here is one from yesterday. I came home to find him napping like this! What a riot my little man is. :)