Saturday, September 6, 2014

The World Has Enough 'Smart' People

This week our son started school.  The teacher sent home a form to fill out asking some basic information about our son.  It also asked about their likes/dislikes, etc.  One of the questions was something like, "What are your goals for your child this year at school?"  I said I'd like for him to make friends and be kind and respectful to others.

Maybe this makes me a huge failure as a parent.  I don't particularly care if he learns more math or reads on a level above his grade.  The world has enough 'smart' people.  How about we grow some kind people?  Those who truly know what empathy is and treat others with respect.  Those who judge less and love more.

Maybe my kids will never excel at math, science or english.  Maybe they won't even go to college.  And ya know what?  I'd be OK with all that.  I just hope they learn to be kind. To show compassion and understanding.  I pray I can show them how.


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Two Children Looking for a New Adoptive Home.

I have pictures of these children but do not feel comfortable posting publicly.  Go "like" to see them.  And pray for these kids!

Elise (Caucasian) is an adorable 11 year old girl who was born in the U.S. Her biological parents were neglectful & abusive, so she was permanently removed from them @ one yr. old and officially adopted by her current family at the age of 3. Biological parent visits were state required/mandated for three years and were very upsetting/ disruptive for Elise. As a result, she holds major resentment towards her adoptive family. So a new adoptive home is being sought.

She is the only adopted child in the home and resents that. Her resentment has built over the years, and she prefers to see herself as “the black sheep” of the family. holidays. She has developed a habit of resisting the family, and it does not seem to be fixable with them.

Elise does extremely well with all other families. She has been in extended respite care for months at a time, and does great. Her parents want to see her happy all the time, so they have made this very difficult decision.

Elise is wonderful with animals. She loves horses, so she needs to go to a home where 4H or riding classes can be offered.

Her family wants her in a home where God and Christ are important.

Due to the state laws, we are not able to place her in NY, CO, IL, CT, MA, or DE. If you would like to receive additional information on her, please contact us at secondchance @


Matthew (Caucasian) is an 8 year old boy, in third grade, who was originally adopted here in the U.S. with 3 biological siblings both older and younger than he is. His adoptive family also has 5 birth children, also both older and younger than Matthew. Matthew was adopted at age 3 after having been in and out of his birth home. His birth parents were drug users and neglectful of the children. The children were left to care for themselves and often lived without heat.

Matthew has had therapy by well known counselors who are also authors of books on RAD, but it has not helped. His parents are feeling very worn out and have run out of energy in raising him.
Matthew does great in school, in respite, and at relatives’ homes. His only behavior problems are at home. The family has had in-home therapy which has not helped at all.

Before Matthew’s adoption was final, there were several years of visits with the birth parents and those visits did not go well. After therapy and counseling, his therapists conclude that Matthew possibly has a deep-seated anger and resentment towards this first adoptive family who “took” him from his birth family.

When Matthew is in bed at night, and a little bit during the day at home, he wets himself continually. He also urinates into various places in his bedroom. Write to us to learn more details about this.

He does not have a medical problem relating to urination.

Since Matthew does so well in other settings, it is felt that he would do much better in a new home with a smaller family where he could get attention . Matthew loves art projects and likes playing with legos and taking piano lessons. He is not greatly into sports.

Because he is such a great little guy with everyone outside the home, it is believed that he would thrive in a new home, probably with only a couple other children. It is recommended that Matthew probably be the youngest child in the home.

Due to state laws, we are not able to place him in CO, IL, CT, MA, or DE. If you would like to receive additional information on him, please contact us at .

Legal fees and other fees will amount to $5000-$6000. If your family qualifies for the adoption tax credit, you should recover all the costs spent.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Dear Christian Who is Praying for An Infant to Adopt (from Adoptee Restoration)

Adoptee Restoration: Dear Christian Who is Praying for An Infant to Adopt:

I read this today and posted it on FB.  Which then lead to a number of my "Adoption Friends" re-posting it.  I am so blessed to have friends from all points of the adoption triad.  I by no means understand it all, but I *know* that having the experience of adoptees, birth parents (particularly birth mothers) and other adoptive parents has really helped me to grow in how I understand and see and educate others about adoption.
Anyway, that is not what this was supposed to be about!

One post led to a few women commenting on being judged for wanting to adopt, etc. etc.  I get that it is kinda weird that I, as an adoptive parent, would agree with what the author says.  But you know what? It shouldn't be weird at all.  We are all as adoptive parents a parent at the expense of someone else.  There is and will be, pain and loss and questions.  All we can do is pray that we have the empathy and grace to answer the questions from our kids when they come...

We do not live in a perfect world, it is broken and not at all what God intended. I believe adoption as we currently see it is our human answer to a problem that is bigger than us. But in no way to do I see adoption as "God ordained", even as an adoptive parent. I see it is a meager attempt to solve the problems of a broken world.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I wish I still had time to blog...

... it has been so long since I have updated here and I hate that.  I really enjoyed this blog and those I have "met" through it!  I am hoping to pick things up again soon but perhaps on a different site.  Last you heard we were moving and we have.  We moved to Philadelphia, PA in the summer of 2012.  It was a crazy wild experience as the only job that worked out for me was the lowest paying but... I LOVE IT.  God knew right where I needed to be.

I began working in July as an Adoption/Permanency Social Worker for kids in PA's foster care system.  It has been such an amazing and eye-opening experience and something I've dreamed of doing.  Honestly, we thought we could never afford for me to (I took a 50% pay cut from my last position) to do it and have been amazed at how things have come together.  No, we sure ain't rich by the world's standards, but our bills are paid and we have a roof over heads.

Anyway, the new blog would focus on my adventures in adoption and foster care and what I am learning/seeing/experiencing.  There are so many misnomers and myths about foster care.  I really want to start a dialogue on how the majority are just not true.

Would you read a blog like this?

Hope all are well in blog land!

Be blessed today,

Friday, March 16, 2012

Urgent Need: Seven-Week-Old Baby Girl in the US

Sharing this post from The Shepherd's Crook Ministries -- Pray for little Destiny and that her forever family finds her soon!
Urgent Need: Destiny
This afternoon, we learned of a seven-week-old baby girl, named Destiny, who is in need of a family. Below is the e-mail from the agency that is handling her case. Please take a minute to read it and consider whether you should adopt her:

Dear colleagues,
We are looking for homestudy ready families who wish to be presented to our new  Illinois birthmom [...] as potential adoptive parents for her daughter, Destiny. (we have a New York license, so NY families would also be eligible )
Destiny was born on January 27, 2012 at an estimated 28 weeks gestation.  She weighed 2 lbs, 13 oz at birth.  Destiny has been in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit since birth. She is growing nicely and as of this week she weighs  5 lbs.  She does not require supplemental oxygen, is breathing on her own and in an open crib.  Destiny is currently feeding about 41 mL every three hours.  She takes half of her feedings by mouth and half through her feeding tube.
A head ultrasound completed at one month of age showed Periventricular leukomalacia (PVL). As [we are] not a resource for general medical information, we encourage families to contact a physician and conduct their own research to learn more about PVL. Here is information from NIH  which provides a brief overview.
Destiny's birthparents are both African American. [The birth mother] does not report using alcohol or drugs during her pregnancy. The birthfather has not been identified and the 30 day Putative Father Registry search showed no results.
[The birth mother] would like hear about any interested families. If an adoption occurs, she would like to stay in contact with the adoptive family through photos and letters and perhaps an annual visit, depending upon where the family resides.
If you have a family who may be  interested in learning more about Destiny and would like to be considered as an adoptive parent, please let us know. Interested families will receive all of the available medical information and photos of Destiny.

Destiny has progressed well in her young life, but it is likely that she has a long road of medical treatments and therapy ahead of her. She actually reminds me a bit of my seven-year-old sister-in-law, Kathryn, whom some of you know. The two girls aren't identical in their needs or in the root causes of their disabilities, but Kathryn's condition is similar to what children with PVL can experience as they grow. Kathryn is doing exceptionally well compared to the prognosis she was given as a baby in Guatemala, and that is due in no small part to the love of her parents, who advocate for her needs and get her the physical therapy that she needs. As a child made in the image of God, Destiny deserves the same advocacy and love. Please pray for her and for her future parents, and feel free to forward this e-mail on to others. Any interested families should write to for more information on this little girl.