Baby Boy needs a home!

Looking for a family for a healthy newborn African American baby boy with Down syndrome. Birth family would like an open adoption with several visits each year, so the family would have to be within easy driving distance of Oklahoma City. Email tracie@christianadoptionconsultants.com if you are interested.

From Hair to There.

One thing I both love and hate about having a little girl is doing her hair.  I have actually come to embrace it more than I thought I might.  Even though ND mostly battles me on it right now she is starting to get the point that she just has no choice.  Either I do her hair or else! (Not that she cares much about the else right now, she'd go around looking like Diana Ross on crack all the time if I let her, but I digress...)

Her hair at birth was very soft with small curls that could be easily maintained. Now, almost 2 years later, she still has the same tight curls but the texture is much different.  Not too coarse, but not soft either.  As most of us do I have a closet chock full of half used products.  I have pretty much settled on about 4 - 5 that I really like and just cycle through those.

Baby hair...

Versus now hair...

Finally Finalized.

Yesterday we finally finalized our daughter ND's adoption.  Finally.  She is now 19 months old.  It took all this time for a variety of reasons, none of them legal, just getting everything in order.

We actually had to call in to the court this time and "appear" before the judge.  Since we finalized in another state we did not have to appear in person thankfully.  The state she was born in is 12 hours away!  It was more emotional that I thought it would be even though we were not there in person.  For some adoptive parents it is a day filled with joy and even parties.  Not for me.  I know what this finalization means for her first family and that breaks my heart.  How can rejoice and party in the face of another's pain? 

Of course the day was also happy - but mostly for the reason that ND is now fully and legally entitled to all that a natural child of ours would be.  This is what E wanted.  For her to be a full member of our family.  And now she is and for that we are eternally grateful.

 You're stuck with us now, little girl!

It's been awhile...

Wow.  It's been awhile since I've written anything here.  The months have flown by this year and I cannot believe we are already entering the school season.  KJ will be going to preschool 2 full days this year.  The poor kid just needs to get out of the house.  He is very outgoing and rambunctious (to say the least) so I know he is going to LOVE school.  I still can't believe he is old enough for preschool but they do say it goes fast, and it sure does.

I miss blogging and at the same time I know I made the right choice by stepping away for a while.  I am not the type to share a lot of pictures of my kids online (other than Faceb*ok where I can control who sees them) and writing about heavy adoption stuff a lot can sure wear on you!  As my kids grow I can already see some questions popping up here and there.  For the most part KJ is still pretty clueless and could care less.  I try to explain to him about babies and tummies but he just has no interest.  He'd rather play cars or trains and snuggle. I want to let him revel in this innocence for as long as possible.  The closest we've gotten to any discussion of adoption is his recent revelation that his feet are brown and mommy's are "peach".  This doesn't mean much to him now, but he also has realized that ND (his little sis) is also brown.  Whew!  We prayed and prayed when the second child joined us that he or she would be just who God intended and she sure is!  Our hearts wanted another black child for KJ but we are so against those damn check lists we couldn't even bring ourselves to check African American only (even though that is the least checked!).  I am glad God heard our hearts (and that of little King-man too).  God is good and gracious even when we wonder and wander. :)

Here's a picture of my (not so little) little ones this summer at Asbury Park.

Black History Month as an Adoptive Parent.

Hi Friends! I have been taking a bit of a sabbatical in order to concentrate more on my little ones and myself. I did, however, recently write a guest post for the blog at MLJ Adoptions. You can check it out here. Be well!

Adoption Downer.

I'm pretty sure that many would classify me as an adoption downer.  I mean, come on now, I often talk about how hard adoption is, how badly I feel for my children's birth families, how I wish there were no need for adoption, how adoption really should be a last resort, etc. etc.  

And the truth is?  All of those things I say ARE true.  But none of them negate the joy I feel for my children or the love I have for their first mothers.  Or how much I love that adoption brought them into my life.  How strongly I feel connected to them even tho we share no blood connection.  How I don't care that our skin does not match.  How I adore each moment with them even when it's 3:30am and ND is screaming.  Or bedtime and KJ is telling me "No! Oh crap, mama!" for the twentieth time that evening.  None of the 'hard' things about adoption matter when I see them.  But it does make me appreciate them oh-so-much more.  I truly do not think any mother could appreciate or love her child more.  

For me the way in which they came to me just makes me love them that much more - not less!  The hard parts make it better - not worse!  The fact that they have another woman's eyes, hair or cheek bones doesn't make me sad - it makes me happy.  It makes me realize what a gift I have and how I am loving them for both of us through our day-to-day lives.

So yah, sometimes I am a downer.  But it is for all the right reasons.  I never want to take these perfect and priceless gifts for granted. Never.

TWO Thanksgivings!

This weekend we head to my in-laws in Philadelphia for the weekend, then on Tuesday night we head to my mom's in Providence.  We get two Thanksgivings!

When KJ was little I had this ridiculous turkey get-up that my dad had got him.  I wish I still had it so ND could endure the same torture as her brother. ;)  Maybe I should find something similar. I'm pretty sure I gave it to my friend whose son is now around ND's age.

Tomorrow I am taking the day off to go to Philly early and shop with my sis-in-law.  She hates to shop but hates her job more so she took the day off too.  A good compromise if you ask me.  I have yet to buy even ONE Christmas gift.  Oh wait.  That's a lie.  I bought Toy Story 3 for my kids, but that is it.  Blah.  I really don't like Christmas shopping.  I'm not very organized about it and I always feel like I'm forgetting something.  I'm using a lot of coupons and Grou*pons this year to save money too.  

Do you have big plans for the holiday?